Pity Party

**Warning: If you aren't a dog lover, stop reading now!! (And since blogging has taken the place of writing in my journal for me, you might have to deal with a post like this from time to time where I have a little pity party! Consider yourself warned!)

Let me start by saying that I know I am sometimes over the top about my critters. But my "fur kids" ARE my kids until I am at a place in life where I can have those two-legged kids that everyone says brings you so much joy! (we'll save those issues for another day b/c little babies scare me to death!) Anyway...my fur kids have been with me for a long time now. The cats (Simba & Nala) are 10 & Jax is 9. Rocky would've been 9 in January, but you know I lost him in October to that ugly nerve disease. That is what makes Jax being so sick lately so hard. I'm afraid I'm going to lose both my boys right here together. I think maybe I am overly protective of these two dogs because they have gotten me through so much in my life. They were my company through my marriage (everyone knows that my ex & I have totally different lifestyles, so I was home alone alot), but my boys were always there to keep me company. And they were there with their heads in my lap during the divorce when I sat on the back deck crying because we had just sold our house. On those days in the year after the divorce when I was so depressed, they were there right beside me everyday. There were times when Rocky would ram his big 'ole rottie chest into the mattress over and over until he made me get out of bed and face the day! (I miss that dog!) They got me through that first year of the divorce - no doubt about it! So, yes, I spoil my pets. Yes, I call them family. Yes, I still cry over Rocky's death and having to put my best friend to sleep. Yes, they are more than just dogs to me!

And now, I am sad because Jax has had to spend the whole weekend at the vet getting IV fluids because he has pancreatitis. For those who asked what pancreatitis was go here: http://2ndchance.info/pancreatitis.htm In the past four months, Rocky has gotten suddenly sick & died, Jax had a major surgery for a ruptured ACL shortly after, in recent weeks he has had two bladder infections and now this! They say when they've grown up together and you lose one, shortly after, you lose the other. That is what worries me!!

Really I am just having a good 'ole pity party because I hate being at home without my dogs & I still miss Rocky. I cried myself to sleep Friday night. Then Saturday after I finished all my work, I thought, I can sit here and worry about Jax in this "empty" house (b/c you know cats don't count! ha!), or I can do something about it. So, I went to Rector to see Kevin! And, I instantly felt better ~ he has that affect on me! :-) Now, I'm thinkin', maybe I just have PMS or something because I really don't normally cry alot & on the way home tonight, I cried twice! Since Friday, I have cried leaving Jax at the vet, cried over Grey's Anatomy (I can't watch on Thursday b/c I have class), cried over Rocky, cried over a movie (Radio), and cried on the way home again over the dogs. Hormones??? Stress??? I don't know, but sometimes it's just hard to be a woman! Thank goodness this Friday is scrap night! (If anyone is still reading this - I'm impressed!)

Hugs,
Lori