I thank God for Jax!

How could I not love that face! This is the face of the BEST dog in the world!! He has been by my side and gotten me through many bumps in the road of life. Jax is 10 1/2 years old now and was by my side as my constant companion through a very lonely marriage. I didn't really have the close friends I have now when I was married. I pushed most people away so they couldn't see inside and know what my life was truly like. My ex-husband was "out" 5 or 6 nights a week, but Jax, he was always there and happy to see me. He was there through the crying, depressing divorce days and re-adjusting to a new life. And he's still here...I don't know what I will do when it's his time to go. There will never be another dog like him for me. He holds a very special place in my heart.

Yesterday was a down day. Our first Saturday home without Kevin. Jax was a good cuddler and more than happy to get up in the bed with his momma and let out a few toots so I would feel like there was a "man" around! ha! You know last week was just as hard on the poor dog as it was me. Whenever I am upset, so is he. He was pacing and had an upset stomach. This week he whines for no reason. Think he misses Kevin too?
When I count my blessings today, I count Jax high on the list. He's already had to hug Momma a few times today and let me cry. So many emotions...I miss Kevin, and I just want to see him or talk to him and know he's ok. But then, I am still mad at him too. I found some empty bottles today when I was cleaning. I know alcoholics hide bottles. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but it still made me MAD to find them. MAD at him for hiding things and lying. MAD that he hasn't been able to beat this. At the same time, it broke my heart. And that is where the best dog ever comes in to mend my heart and soak up my tears.