Maybe if I relieve some stress by blogging, I can focus. I should be on my way to Searcy with Kevin right now to see his family. Or, I should be getting ready for church. I'm not doing either. I'm at the freakin' computer - again! I am supposed to be doing research for my stupid class. URGH! I hate this class! It's too much....I went to work on Friday, had parent conferences as well as a million other tasks, left there, went to the library for research, came home and graded papers and did grades until 9:30 - ON A FRIDAY NIGHT! I did that so I could go to Searcy today, and only have to research when I got home. Ladies - you know how it is - women do not just work outside the home but at home too. So, not only do I have all this crap going on with work and my masters class, but I have to keep the house clean and the laundry going, yada yada.
Well, it all came crashing down. I was holding it all up the best I could, and now I am just a crying, blubbering mess. I looked up the drop date for my class. I am not a quitter - that's the only thing that has stopped me so far. I don't think I can do it though - 2 more months to go with 3 more major projects, a midterm next week, and a final. I strongly want to quit and have my life back NOW - not in 2 months.I'm ashamed to admit that I took it out on Kevin - my stress. I snapped and yelled at him in the middle of the night b/c I couldn't sleep b/c he kept waking me up. So, now we are arguing - just what I need. Why didn't I just keep my trap shut and get up and go to the other bedroom? Geez!
Seriously, it has been so long since I was in school, if I drop the class and take a W, do I get my tuition money back? I can't lose $700 - that would be incentive to stick it out.
I am rambling and this didn't help - darn it! I need guidance - what to do? I should've taken this class in the summer!! I know I will be disappointed in myself if I give up, but I also know I will be relieved to let go of the load...decisions!
Any advice?
10 comments:
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. That's a hard decision to make.
First check to see if you can get your $$ back. If you can then drop it till summer or later.
If not - tough it out. I know you can do it! :-) You've already come nearly halfway in the class - no sense in stopping now, girlie. Get Kev involved in some of the housework - or just let go of some of that house work and focus on your class. The dishes and laundry will wait - they'll be there whenever you have time for them. You're a strong gal - I'm pulling for ya!
Finish the class!!!! I think if you don't you will be wishing you had this summer....You are already halfway done. The house can wait...I know it's not your style....but it really can!!!
Michelle
See if you can get your money back, and if you can, then make the decision. I know how time consuming and hard it is and then on top of that, there are MORE projects to do in the next couple of months. But you can't give up your sanity either. Us teachers have that internaly programmed fear of "quitting" and sometimes it is a good quality and sometimes it isn't, like forcing you to finish things that might not be something that is worth your mental state!! Take a couple hours and relax....Kevin will understand, I'm sure he's taken things out on you and not meant it. You're not perfect Lori, no one expects perfection from you EXCEPT you....go easy on yourself:) Whatever you decide will be just fine:) (((HUGS)))
Well, first you're going to take a long breath. Then you're going to apologize to Kevin. After that, you're gonna get done what needs done because I know you can do it!!! Believe me, I know how it is to try to work at home and multitask. Above EVERYTHING, you have to take care of YOU. This stress is not good! (Gee, I was a lot of help, huh? Deep breath. That's all I can offer. Oh, and a big {{{{HUG}}} Hang in there.
2 months. Is only 60 DAYS. Take it day by day! Just think, in 60 days, you'll be done with that class. FOREVER. Never have to worry about taking it again. And when the weather is nice out? You won't be stuck doing research, because you already finished the class!
I don't think you can get your money back. It is probably to late in the semester to get a full refund. You need to enlist Kevin's help with household chores. He lives there too, so he should have to help with housekeeping. Hang in there.
Oh I wish I had some advice, but I don't...try and hang there..2 months will hopefully come fast :)
I so understand your dilemma--and the lost Saturdays, the arguments, the stress. No one really knows what teaching can be like unless they've done it. Our job does not end when we walk out of the classroom . . . heck, sometimes it just begins.
I agree . . . check to see if you can get $$$ back. If not, talk to the prof and see what arrangements can be mad (I taught a college course last year and I was especially generous with the teachers) in terms of assignments.
Consider altering some of those assignments so that you are doing a lot less work--holistic grading, maybe? Maybe have them present to the class and grade right then so that you don't have a bunch of stuff to take home and grade. I'm certain you'll figure something out--you are an awesome teacher and that is why you are stressed--you want to do the right thing, you want the best for your students and you're trying to live a life at the same time. NOT always easy, that is for sure.
Sorry to go on and on . . . . I just feel your pain.
Good luck and know that summer is quickly approaching . . . I'll be thinking of you. Keep us updated.
I don't think you'll get your money back. I know it's hard, but I say stick it out...you'll be happy when it's done and you won't have to take it later. I'll be praying for you!!
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