always get a kick out of this...

RULES FOR NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT. (and like to complain about our pets)

1. The dogs live here-you don't

2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture

3. I like my dogs better than I like some people

4. To you they are dogs, to me they are adopted children, who are short,
hairy, walk on all fours, and don't speak clearly.

5. In some ways they are easier to care for than kids. They eat less,
don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when
called, don't drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't
smoke or drink, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear
your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get
pregnant you can sell the pups. The same applies to cats, except they ignore you until you get to sleep